One thing I’ve learned in life is that, no matter what, people are going to misunderstand me and make mistakes about my intentions. This is especially true since I have autism. There are some things I can do to help prevent these misunderstandings, and I will do them as much as I can, but misunderstandings will still happen. That’s why sometimes the most important thing a person can do is remember that people are wrong about her. Remember that people are wrong when they think something untrue about her. I’m trying really hard to remember that anyone who thinks I’m rude, selfish or self-centered is wrong. It’s difficult, though, especially with my self-hatred problems.
As yesterday’s poem may suggest, I have started working on a Toolbox of Life. The tools in this toolbox vary greatly in terms of how often I use them, what I use them for, what they mean to me, etc. I’m sure there are additional tools I haven’t thought of yet. Here are the tools I have come up with so far:
Self-discipline. This is one tool I know I lacked in college and to some extent still lack. With more self-discipline, I think I could be a better writer and blogger.
Courage. Of the three “Wizard of Oz” traits, this is the one I think I lacked the most in college. I’d probably be much prouder of my college education now if I’d had more courage at the time; courage to learn from my mistakes and do what I knew was right. I really like how courage is illustrated in “Minions” (a topic I will touch upon in another post), and I found a really powerful quote about courage that I like. It goes like this: “In life, you always have three choices: Give up, give in, or give it all you’ve got!” I think this quote could also be applied to self-discipline. I found it on Facebook, but it wasn’t attributed to anybody.
Passion, knowledge, and compassion. These tools, I feel, are more specific versions of the other two “Wizard of Oz” traits. Knowledge is a more specific version of Brain, while passion and compassion are more specific versions of Heart. I believe I have these traits in ample amounts and already use them on a regular basis, but there is always room for improvement. I will also start writing down instances of when and how I use them.
Memory and imagination. These are two other tools I feel I have in ample amounts and use on a regular basis. They are also two of my favorites. What I said about passion, knowledge, and compassion also applies to these two, though.
Happiness. This is a very important tool, but unfortunately, I think it is the one I sabotage the most for myself. I wouldn’t be surprised if many people who have depression and/or anxiety, like I do, have the same problem. How we use this tool in life is not always clear, but we all know how important it is to keep and cherish at all times.
To help with this, I have been looking into buying “Bucket Full of Happiness” books. These are children’s books, but I think they can be helpful for adults, too. One of them even says it is for people of all ages. These books focus mostly on filling your own happiness bucket by making other people happy. That concept is very important to me, and I will also try to remember that there are other ways to fill one’s own bucket, which are perfectly fine as long as they don’t “dip” buckets belonging to other people. For those of you who are interested, here is a link to the “Bucket Full of Happiness” web site.